Who's a ******* smart **** now?
Village Jam Factory - Tuesday 28 February 2017, 8:40pm
Running time: 117m
Country: United Kingdom
Classification: R18+ (High impact themes, coarse language and drug use)
Release date: 23/02/17
Rating: 7.5/10 (ME 3.5/5, DP 4/5)
On the search for the mysterious black powder north of the Great Wall, William (Matt Damon) and Pedro (Pero Pascal) defeat a mysterious foe by cutting off its slimy green hand. No; really. They soon attract the attention of an army protecting the capital from the threat of an army of telepathic green slimy alien monsters. Seriously! Crane Troop commander Lin (Jing Tian) bungee jumps off the wall with spears to defeat the monsters... and then it REALLY gets weird. Totes!
The Great Wall opens with a disclaimer that there are many stories and legends throughout history, and that this one is based on a legend. What follows is possibly the dumbest yet funnest (yes, that's a word) bit of fantasy action adventure eye candy film of the year. The acting is atrocious from actors who should know better (Willem Dafoe, you are official on notice) and the story is truly bizarre, but it's a light and silly and comes as a breath of fresh air after so many Oscar films lately. The look of the film is pure fantasy with great action sequences and gorgeous costumes. Keep your expectations low and just enjoy the ride. Enjoyable... and dumb.